Among all the ups and down in the life one thing I will forever be grateful for is to be able to remain silent. At one point of time, I may have said things differently and may even have done things differently but with all of this to be able to watch every situation pass by with no emotion and expectation is the new discovery.
There were times, when I thought this is either because I am a coward and I can’t stand up for myself or that I just don’t care about anything. Since, I think alot at times, I even put my thoughts to test and strangely what I realised is that it’s much easier to care and be vested in situations than to sit down and watch it pass by. Even more difficult was to believe that I didn’t care about anything but is it even possible to not really pay attention to what one feels? If it was the case of other “body”, it may have been the otherwise but to sit and watch oneself go through every other emotion and to be able to sit with it without reacting to it was on a whole different level.
I knew I wasn’t doing any of it. I was venting, crying if needed to but most importantly I was able to sit with it and watch it go by and unfold in its own way slowly and beautifully. It just doesn’t happen I guess I made the choices and all I do now is to sit down and watch it.