Life’s predicament

Seemingly, I am assuming that the time is just not slipping away without a grip. Foolish enough to worry about everything that goes around and beyond what may come in future. Again time is just a hard subject to understand, confuses enough to either reminisce the loss or live in the moment or worry about the future.

Guilty of being so charged with everything else that goes on around the little bubble, despise the fact that getting carried away is so much easier than I would normally held onto. Almost never in control of self and this feeling of being controlled by external factors is just another way of existing at the present.

While the stones carved in the past were once highly decorated entitlements I had once desired, the monument I now stand is merely the beginning of another creation that I must make. The ugliest form of inhibition, the self created lack and a never ending saga of need and desire. A thought in a moment as I close my eyes, “is it ever going to be just right?”

Being aware and conscious was to overcome every hurdle but as a lover and an analyser, dissecting every single thing meant going down the path that has no end. Falling back to reclaim the desires one more time as it ignites even brighter this time, but the flames have changed. I see the light that does not burn but ignites the path, turns nothing into ashes and it enlightens. The meaning is still lost as I love to analyze in volumes, it may have been manifested over time and may have lost in translation multiple times.

Still I wonder if it’s the sensation of heat I look for even when all it ever did was to turn into dust or the lack of misery to empathize with the self even more deeply just because there is nothing more ordinary that could take place than this. The whole situation is beyond my understanding but the Idiocracy in all of it is to still try an understand rather than just live through it.

What is so difficult about living and breathing?