Escaping self made black hole

A word so subtle, face so innocent, an act of kindness with a vicious intent, strong intuition, a negative thought; that’s all it took for me to create the space so vast that could fit my own little self made black hole. The more I thought of it, the bigger was its expansion, knowingly or unknowingly the space got darker and darker in no time. Everything looked fine on the surface including its creator.

I can not help but talk about it and write every second I get the opportunity. With each breathe as I observe within and my surroundings, the feelings transitioned from jealousy to sympathy and empathy. The urge of trying to fix everything around is no longer there but the urge to help, to see beyond still resides in me. This feeling of wanting to help somebody is also an addiction which I have come to the realisation.

A sudden thought then crossed the mind, is it the arrogance or the ignorance that leads me to this conclusion of whatever goes in and around me. I look again to spot the apparatus from which I have secluded every emotion and thought I have processed. The conclusion it always drew of something not correct outside of me. Why am I so eager to blame? Why do I find solace in victimisation and accusation rather than self-correction.

I go deeper, the eternal quest to find the real me beneath all these sheaths that make me who I perceive to be. Features so fickle that everything these senses sense affects this very being. Yet so proud of this identity that anything comes its way must come in the sense of ‘I’.

Placing the mind in order is important to continue in the society nevertheless it is one incomplete picture we are all trying to fit in. And that’s a whole another blog to talk to about. 🙂