Greetings from a man on a sidewalk

As I begin to dive deeper in the books and the words of different spiritual author, I learn to re-align my mind giving me the million reasons to open my eyes and just be present.

I no longer feel or think about the past that held me back, the new me that I fondly spoke about, thought of, written down like everywhere is finally living here and now.

I remember forcing myself to sit down for meditation with the intention of being free from whatever was going through during that moment of time. I remember being so fickle minded that everything bothered and the sad part was trying to be normal and acting big, something I inherited. I realised that it had shaped me and the urge of becoming someone that was completely different than who I truly was even more difficult.

It did not just happen. I lived and survived most years as a victim, as somebody who was unloved, and uncared for. I read and heard so much about “Happiness comes from within” but this simply does not happen on its own. Hence, I no longer preach this sentence instead I believe in teaching the essence so that one can actually incorporate these words into reality.

I spent years delving into the purpose of this life, I never once stopped thinking. The gap in the knowledge I had on spirituality and the life I was creating for myself was huge. I must admit that the change began when I thought I had hit rock bottom and there was no way out. I felt heart broken, lost, desperate and everything that tarnished my confidence, ego, pride, my sense of self. I practically withdrew from every source that was once meaningful.

Usually, how we think, perceive and feel are not the same. In my case, everyone thought I was lazy, and had lost ambition if any. The disconnection from the external world was a choice which I did not know was the utmost important then. Now, I see that it was necessary for the transition to take place.

Every self help book or motivational video said, “you must love yourself first” but how do we do it?

After months of isolation and disconnection from the outer world, I was able to reach within. But how did I get here?

The seed of change took place when I realised something was not right, not outside of me but within me. I began asking a simple question on how I can change this feeling. First thing I heard was “what you seek is seeking you”, I began to see things that was helping me recover which was still unknown then. Everything slowly unfolded one after another, met people who shared similar experiences and the growth is the result where I am today.

I feel like a new person today and the possibilities are limitless bound by nothing. The alignment is unreal and heart is filled with joy and compassion. I am still the same person but I no longer feel, think or act the same way I did until few months back. I truly embrace this state and I only hope to help others with what I have experienced.

Inspired by a man sitting down on a sidewalk with a bag of chips, and a warm smile on his face when he said, “Hello”. – November diaries