The rush


Loosing momentum: I heard this for the first time when I suddenly hit the brake while driving at certain speed on a highway and I started to accelerate back to move forward. My friend asked me not to do that and he mentioned that I had just lost the momentum. The flow I was in just got disrupted and to bring that back up I needed few more seconds and could no longer do that in the lane where you are expected to go on a certain speed. I was obviously on 120 km/hour and the hard brake got me down to 20 and affected not only me but others too. I realised then that I had to be constant with the flow or I will loose the momentum also reminding myself to be at a certain distance from the vehicle at the front.

I understand that flow and I agree with that but sometimes I wonder if that applies in life too. Is it important to have that flow in life? Looking back now I can say that I have lost it countless times but I wonder if it has affected or shaped life in any way. Many decisions I took for myself I don’t know if it was for better or worse but I am here now.

Very small part of my brain is driving me crazy lately as I watch influencers talking about how one should not be forced and let the Universe guide you on your right path, I feel I am loosing the momentum as I wait for the signs to appear. Having said that it’s not like I don’t believe, I do believe but it’s that part of my brain rushing me in to the things that I physically and emotionally do not require to happen immediately but psychologically as I look around, I see over and over again that it’s beginning to take over slowly.

It’s that rush, rush to get things done, to achieve all the set goals, to be at the level where everyone is, and to just be where I think the ultimate happiness would be. That sounds ridiculous I know. I recently read a line by Will Smith that said you can’t depend on others for your happiness, you have to be happy yourself first relying on others to make you happy is just being selfish. More I look around and outward I get dragged into even more and I know that I need to find the inner peace and look inside more often than my Instagram but it’s just not easy as I would suggest or say to myself.

Funny enough I encourage everyone to take the first step to know your true self and even encourage to mediate or do yoga and it’s not like I don’t do what I say. I follow what I preach, meditating and doing yoga to be more close to myself and to know myself better but I guess I just need an extra dose of whatever I am doing to clear my head and space around me. Even though I am writing this today my mind is actually torn in two as I say good things to stay positive the other side of my brain is so active that its just ready to deny everything I just said and focus on why it isn’t working and what should I do to make it happen.

Let’s just take a deep breathe in…