Nov 2019

A bright star shines brighter, draws attention. A bright star is also a lost star, looking for its purpose in life. Would it be like any other bright star that would only shine and vanish in this cold empty space?

I would like to believe we all have purpose in life, I wonder about my purpose in life. Born out of love, raised with love, joy and all the struggles of life. Glad to learn everything about emotions not only what I felt within but also with a great sense of intuition. Felt the curiosity that rose not only from within but also among those who surrounded. With a clear conscience I was aware of their intention, sometimes embraced the ignorance on spur of moment. The impulse that pulls me to do everything without thinking of any right or wrong.

I could look around, walk, run or hide and still have that one smile that would make me different from everyone else, eager to shine brighter, bright enough to burn within yet happy to keep the light on for self and everyone around. Wonder if I could ever go back in time, would I do anything differently? Again I wonder, ever put any thought on any action in the past? Would I be in different state if I had? I shine bright as I am able to control my anger and emotion in the name of staying positive and hopeful; a bit of an act there yet with a bright smile on. Yes, I shine bright because I prefer to burn within than to break the shell. I am strong, I say; but am I really?

What have I done to be this, I ask self because if I don’t know the answer myself I wonder who would? Never stopped believing in God, times did play different roles in fading and restoring the faith but I wonder if it was time or my selfish nature that chose to ignore each time I felt better. Easy to forget sometimes, “Alas,I am only human.” How could I be any different?

I am strong and no shame in calling it out loud. I want to just so that I eventually start believing in it. I feel powerful as I pour things down. I feel the impulse, I am aware what its leading me to. It shows me the life I want to see but I wonder if that is what serves the very existence, if this is what it’s meant to be? And I feel no fear holding this impulse to find real me and the purpose of this life.

Regardless of how I feel in this very moment, I trust this universe and trust the path. I will continue to walk until it leads me, better or worse, I put my faith in you and I continue this journey called life. I will stay positive and shine bright even in the darkest time.